what i miss most

i've been missing in action lately. i've received no less than 4 emails in the last week from friends saying "did you fall off the planet?" ok - they didn't all exactly say that - but they said something along that vein. in fact, a friend from DC decided i was taking too long to respond to her letters - that she came to visit and she's currently sleeping on an air mattress in my living room as i type.

i've been in a funk lately. unfortunately it hasn't been a James Brown or Earth Wind & Fire funk. i've just not been interested in taking any sort of initiative to plan anything. actually, i've just not been interested in doing anything that may mess up my routine of coming home from work and sleeping and reading. sushi has been the exception. because without sushi OG goes craZy.

so i find myself realizing that though i've been single for over a year - and living alone (with my crazy feline) for 9 months - it isn't that i miss having a significant other in my life for company, it is something else. don't get my wrong, i miss not having someone to put my cold feet on when i crawl into bed. or someone i can try to kill with my pathetic attempts of cooking meals... what i really miss is someone i can laugh with. someone that i can have that inside joke with. someone i can send a pict msg from my phone to when i see something totally bizarre that i just HAVE to share. or someone i can sit with in silence and just enjoy being together in each other's company reading or playing in the internet. i have some pretty awesome friends that i can share these things with (bar the cold toes) but it isn't the same. but i don't want false sharing of these things either. not just for the heck of it.

i've never been one to be in a relationship just because. but i recognize that the friends i've not seen lately are the connections to life i've been missing.

consider yourselves warned... i'm getting out of the house!!