Scotland: the first weekend

So I originally was going to be incredibly dedicated and blog every night about what adventures I had during that day... well, as you can guess, that hasn't happened. I was not as dedicated about blogging as I expected. I did however download and label my pictures most nights.
So below are the pictures from the first weekend of driving about. The pictures below may not have happened in the order that they are shown. So please ignore my geography inaccuracies and possibly any mislabeling.

No trip to Scotland is complete without a visit to a distillery... here I am at the Grouse - which used to be Glen Turret which is the oldest distillery in Scotland.









while Mum and I were at the distillery there was a wedding party with the men dressed in kilts...















Many fabulous views...
Here is Loch Earn

















Ok... now here are some random pictures from the rest of the day...

Greetings from Scotland

So two weeks ago I wasn't planning on visiting Scotland. But I was able to use 80,000 miles from US Airways and get a first class roundtrip ticket from San Francisco to Glasgow. I mean, I'm not working at the moment and the ticket would only cost me the price of the taxes and fees for travel... and I can job hunt from anywhere. Plus I'm making international connections while I'm here. :) It is a win all around!

Well, my first day here is a bit of a blur as I was functioning on very little sleep. But Mum and I did head south and hit the shops for a few errands, etc. No pictures of that...

My second day... I slept a million hours, got up late and took a bit of a walk. I walked along the beach path and took a few photos...




The Rail Bridge across the Firth of Forth
















This beach has quite a lot of sea glass... Though not pictured here, I did find a lovely bit of glass with chicken wire running through it.

There are a lot of signs and bike paths and I really liked this suggestion...



I've uploaded my photos from today - but I'll blog about it tomorrow.... it is getting late and if I want to get up tomorrow and actually see more tourist stuff I'd better get to bed sooner rather than later...

long-time no talk & 2nd hand optimism

i know... i've been woefully silent on my blog as of late... sorry. you'd think that as i'm not getting up and going to work every morning that i'd be a more prolific blogger, but alas, i'm not.

The last few weeks have continued to be a roller-coaster of emotions. I'm upbeat and optimistic one day, then ready to crawl under a rock until they are giving jobs away again. I am keeping busy I have approximately 5 job websites that I check every day or so for jobs. I workout every day. I've been working on my bicycle. I now just need to get air in the tires, very important for it to move smoothly down the road. And for all the jobs I apply for, for all the companies that I post my resume to their website - I definitely hit the bottom of the optimism well, and I just felt that I'd never find another job again. Admittedly I'd rather be an optimist and a fool, than a pessimist and right. But even the lack of progress was daunting to me. I have an amazing support system of friends who were always quick to say - you are wonderful and fabulous and you'll be find a company and a job you look forward to going to everyday. And they will want you as much as you want them. Oh that is a lovely thought.

And this week, I made progress on a rather large personal challenge, and I got an email from a consulting firm I'd LOVE to work for and on Friday I got a call back from a software retailer wanting to set up an interview! And I randomly ended up talking to a woman at the bus stop (shock & amazement I know) who is a recruiter! And she understands what I do! It was a trifecta of fabulous progress this week!

YES!

Finally! Progress! 2 interviews in the next few weeks. Oh I know that nothing may come of them, but still - to toil away in the dark - not knowing if you are truly making progress, is hard.

Thank you friends for your 2nd hand optimism! I reserve the right to look to you again for that optimistic boost!

And keep your fingers-crossed for the job interviews to go well!

a few of my fave things...

so today I found a $3.99 used copy of one of my favorite movies... Big Trouble. Not Big Trouble in Little China... but just Big Trouble starring Tim Allen, Rene Russo, Stanley Tucci, and a host of other fabulous actors and actresses! It was unfortunately not a very popular film - but it is so well done and it is quite entertaining. Well, it keeps me laughing no matter how many times I watch it!

I highly recommend it!

the OG's new anthem...

I came across the new OG anthem yesterday. It is a song called "Merry Happy" by Kate Nash. It is a positively up-beat piece of music with some great lyrics... I have included the lyrics below. Check out the song if you have a chance.

Merry Happy...

Watching me like you never watch no one
Don't tell me that you didn't try and check out my bum
Cause I know that you did
Cause your friend told me that you liked it

Gave me those pearls and I thought they were ugly
Though you try to tell me that you never loved me
I know that you did
'Cause you said it and you wrote it down

Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

So I learnt from you
Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do
So I learnt form you
Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do

I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own

Sitting in restaurants
Thought we were so grown up
But I know now that we were not the people
That we turned out to be

Chatting on the phone
Can't take back those hours
But I won't regret
'Cause you can grow flowers
From where dirt used to be

Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

So I learnt from you
Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do
So I learnt from you
Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do

I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own
(do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do)

I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own
(do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do

The difference 24-hour makes

I took, on Thursday, the longest bus ride of my life. After being told that there was no longer a position for me to fill, I sat in the office, and just let go. Feeling the load of countless late nights over the last few months slip past me. The nights that I worked on work/projects that would never be seen! The wasted time. The skipped gym appointments. The missed social commitments.

I felt the fear and panic that comes with not knowing what happens next! The anger of not leaving on my own terms! Of not being the one doing the dumping! Oh I sat in my office and I just let it go... and I cried my eyes out.

I immediately called my work BFF and told her. I could barely get the words out. But I didn't care that I wasn't supposed to... come to find out the former boss told folks when he wasn't supposed to either. anyway... I then made a call to a mentor & friend and told him that I'd be able to come out and hang out now that I had a bit more spare time on my hands.

Well that fateful Thursday I waited in line for the bus, got on the bus and faced the journey home. And it has to have been the longest bus ride of my life... I swear, we only went 10 miles an hour the 2 mile ride home. It was treacherous. I tried to not cry. I've made it a personal goal not to cry on the bus. We made it a block when the woman next to me started *itching about work. Oh the irony.. at least she had a job! Oh no, I'm not going to cry! So I put on my iPod... a conspirator in my misery, to be sure. I don't remember the first thing I heard - but it only started to make it worse... so I went to my gym playlist. Upbeat music. Nothing sad, depressing or employment related on that list.

Ok, half way home - no, don't think about the looming fear of unemployment... no, don't think about the calls you'll have to make. Stop thinking about the emptying of your office... ok, 3 more blocks... no tears. no tears. no tears. One block left!

I swear from the moment my foot hit the pavement when getting off the bus - the tears started. I couldn't stop them. I started crying and I couldn't stop - and it wasn't those weak baby tears - this was mascara messy, gut wrenching crying. I still had 3 flights of stairs to climb... I make it to the door, keys in hand - but you have to be able to see the lock!

I get home... I get in bed and I stay there!

I am fortunately able to look back and say it was horrible and I hope to never have to do that again. As you will read in the next post - the following day was infinitely better than this bus ride - but I don't want to forget the ride. I know I'm only up-beat and positive today because I know how fearful I was a few days ago! I am only at the beginning of my unemployment - and I will probably get sad and depressed and panicked again! And if I remember both the positive and the panicked, then I'll be able to get through it!

Life has thrown quite a lot at me over the last year or so ... but I'm not going to let it get to me. As I've heard several times over the last few days - things happen for a reason and I am (sort of) looking forward to what the future has in hold for me! I just hope even Optimist Girl can keep up this optimism!!

a whole new frontier...

there is no way to say it... i am among the organizationally displaced. Also known as forced unemployment.

It happened Thursday at 3:55pm - by my now, former boss... yup, he did it face-to-face in my office. It was painless and over in less than 4 minutes. It wasn't a surprise as I've been semi-expecting it for the last few months. And it certainly wasn't about my performance or the job I've done at my previous employer.

So here I sit several days later... having survived the aftermath of my emotional instability... Thank you to MD for being there... I was an emotional disaster. I was all over the place in short periods of time. I was sad, angry, crying, positive, negative, up-beat, as well as sarcastic and swearing all in a 5-minute timeframe... And I woke up Friday morning - positive. Between the previous evening's pep talk and my brimming optimism - I couldn't help it. But I needed encouragement. I called my peers before I left the house.

I called them to know that I could walk into my office, for the last time. To know, I wouldn't be alone.

I made it into the office and I pulled together the list of folks I wanted to speak to before I left. Folks I wasn't sure how to connect with afterwards... Well I spent between 815am and 2pm speaking with former bosses, clients, co-workers, folks I'd been on projects with and people I'd never met face to face, but I'm proud to call them friend. It was so incredibly affirming when i heard time and time again - that they were shocked to hear I'd no longer be with the company - that it was the company's loss and then they asked... what they could do to help me! I hope that everyone in their lives has the chance to understand the positive impact that they can have on others... I had no idea that I'd made a difference for so many people in their careers and in their lives. People that I really look up to said that they would pass my resume along, that they would help me find my next job.

I walked out of the office for the first time in I can't remember how long, feeling wonderful, affirmed that I'd made a difference for folks. That the work I'd done had a positive impact! I sat on that bus ride home, calm, confident. The world is a scary place right now. Economy isn't doing that hot... employment is sky high... but I just know that it is all going to work out. I sit here tonight able to focus and concentrate on nothing for the first time in months!

Oh I'm worried about my future - but I am controlling what I can control. And I am most of all thankful that for the first time ever I got the positive feedback from those whose opinions matter to me... those at work who actually saw the work I did everyday. Not just the impression of the bosses... but the peers and clients who worked with me side by side every day.

Thank you to all of my friends for being there for me when I needed me most, especially MD.