there is no way to say it... i am among the organizationally displaced. Also known as forced unemployment.
It happened Thursday at 3:55pm - by my now, former boss... yup, he did it face-to-face in my office. It was painless and over in less than 4 minutes. It wasn't a surprise as I've been semi-expecting it for the last few months. And it certainly wasn't about my performance or the job I've done at my previous employer.
So here I sit several days later... having survived the aftermath of my emotional instability... Thank you to MD for being there... I was an emotional disaster. I was all over the place in short periods of time. I was sad, angry, crying, positive, negative, up-beat, as well as sarcastic and swearing all in a 5-minute timeframe... And I woke up Friday morning - positive. Between the previous evening's pep talk and my brimming optimism - I couldn't help it. But I needed encouragement. I called my peers before I left the house.
I called them to know that I could walk into my office, for the last time. To know, I wouldn't be alone.
I made it into the office and I pulled together the list of folks I wanted to speak to before I left. Folks I wasn't sure how to connect with afterwards... Well I spent between 815am and 2pm speaking with former bosses, clients, co-workers, folks I'd been on projects with and people I'd never met face to face, but I'm proud to call them friend. It was so incredibly affirming when i heard time and time again - that they were shocked to hear I'd no longer be with the company - that it was the company's loss and then they asked... what they could do to help me! I hope that everyone in their lives has the chance to understand the positive impact that they can have on others... I had no idea that I'd made a difference for so many people in their careers and in their lives. People that I really look up to said that they would pass my resume along, that they would help me find my next job.
I walked out of the office for the first time in I can't remember how long, feeling wonderful, affirmed that I'd made a difference for folks. That the work I'd done had a positive impact! I sat on that bus ride home, calm, confident. The world is a scary place right now. Economy isn't doing that hot... employment is sky high... but I just know that it is all going to work out. I sit here tonight able to focus and concentrate on nothing for the first time in months!
Oh I'm worried about my future - but I am controlling what I can control. And I am most of all thankful that for the first time ever I got the positive feedback from those whose opinions matter to me... those at work who actually saw the work I did everyday. Not just the impression of the bosses... but the peers and clients who worked with me side by side every day.
Thank you to all of my friends for being there for me when I needed me most, especially MD.
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