almost a horror film!

it is definitely pleasant this evening. i just returned from a walk down to the beach and back. of course, i did a good 15 - 20 min stare at the stars. i just wasn't going to take my chances and walk on the beach alone. i've seen enough scary movies to know i had too many key characteristics going on not taking my life into my own hands and ending up in a horror film.
1. i was wearing flip flops - which impedes my ability to run
2. wearing my NEW favorite shirt - always gets ripped in a struggle
3. i'm frightfully adorable so that ups my chances 10 fold.
4. i have in my hair a very point and long hair clip that the TSA shouldn't let me take on a plane - but i've flown with it more than i care to admit. anyway - this pointy hair clip which would count for me for defensive purposes - would eventually work against me.
5. i had a flashlight - which again would and should work for my survival but again - i just don't think it would work out... when i turn my flashlight in one direction to see 'what that noise was' i would get attacked from behind.

so i figured it best - to just walk briskly on my way back through 'the forest' and take my life in my hands. as it turns out - i'm apparently not quite as vulnerable as i thought. now normally i would be happy about this however, there is just something about being that cute vulnerable female that is appealing - for about a minute.
oh well. it is the holidays and the bad guys may have taken the night off.

or i might have jinxed it because i was thinking it would be the perfect setting for a horror film!

dang!

merry christmas - and to all a good night

so i am getting ready for bed and to close my eyes and fall asleep - closing another christmas. it was a small christmas by others standards but average sized for my family. we all (all of 5 people) met in Florida for a few days of sun, family time and gift-giving.

for as much as i love christmas - i am ok with it ending. not because of the "all good things must come to an end" kinda thing - but more - it's so good i look forward to doing it better / differently next year.

perhaps next year i'll be on a beach in mexico. or in my home for a change.

where will i be next year? who will be with me at christmas? friends? family?

i always get introspective at christmas - this year is no exception...

i hope everyone had a happy holiday!

somebody email me...

I AM BORED!!!

A christmas survey - courtesy of my friends...

Instead of subjecting everyone to this via email - I'm blogging it!

Merry Christmas...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? wrapping paper - usually with snowmen.

2. Real tree or artificial? i'm all about the fake tree - no muss, no fuss, no needles everywhere to be found 6 months later. also, my cat loves to eat the tree. ew.

3. When do you put up the tree? last possible minute usually

4. When do you take the tree down? first possible minute

5. Do you like eggnog? yes - especially with rum

6. Favorite gift received as a child? i think the 2 foot Hello Kitty I recieved

7. Do you have a nativity scene? no

8. Hardest person to buy for? anyone who doesn't collect or want crap - i do great crap

9. Easiest person to buy for? me

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail for sure. but email as well.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? no such thing is a worst gift...

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Trading Places with Eddie Murphy and Dan Ackroyd

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? i try to buy all year round

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yup.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? stuffing!

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? this year - white.

17. Favorite Christmas song? i'm dreaming of a white christmas - probably because i've really only done 1 white christmas in the last 10 years

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? call me rudolph the frequent traveller

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? is this an IQ test??

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? uh. nothing this year

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning ? christmas morning because if we opened on christmas eve there would be nothing to open the next day

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? the commercialism.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? this is WAY too complex for my simple tree.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? food. dessert. anything i don't have to cook/make/prepare

Friends help you move

real friends help you move bodies.
it amazes me that this statement is a fundamental truth among my friends. Now my nearest and dearest in college - we used to say this all the time. Mostly becuase some of us moved every year into our dorm and 9 months later out again and 3 months later back into a new dorm. yes, i was a dorm dweller. (the BESTEST, ever)
but even as an adult i meet and build strong friendships with others and yes - they understand and know this maxim as truth. even recently a co-worker/friend said to me as i was about to get into a story of woe - ok where are the bodies buried. she had no idea that i used to say this all the time.
but yet ...
she knew.

how is this possible. i guess among women (i can't comment about relationships between men as i'm not one) you just understand that sometimes - you gotta do what a woman's gotta do... and if it requires drycleaning - drinks are owed to all!

thank you my dearest friends for being there for me when i need you most. or when you are there and i don't need you.

i'll let you know when we need to move bodies.

smooches!

Olympic Sport Winner: Eavesdropping

Eavesdropping (aka listening in to someone else's conversation) is a hobby for me, or even a sport. i truly excel at listening to other people's conversation. Now at this point you are probably saying/thinking - how rude. but i don't care. i've really been able to kill the hours traveling, eating alone (sniff), or just general life stuff listening to what others say. the mall is a great place to do this. restaurants, bars are fantastic too.
well this evening i realized the difference between the content of older folks and your standard gen x/y isn't that great. admittedly there's more surgery and health conversation among the older - but let me tell you - in the end EVERYONE gets down to the gossip. now the gossip content might shift a little but in general it's the same. today i was eating alone and heard 2 couple tell stories tag-team style about cheating husbands, divorces and who the other woman was. that doesn't vary much from gossip i hear on BART. it's always about who is stooping who and where. although the younger crowd usually includes how and with what extra hardware.
anyway - i was greatly amuzed. and realized i deserve a gold medal in eavesdropping!

memory loss

the mind is a terrible thing to waste. and mine just seems to be leaking like a sieve. usually i can remember just about anything. though i think i'm running out of capacity for addresses and birthdays. i used to remember them so easily - now i can't tell you the birthday of my bestest friend. i can however tell you the birthday of 2 roommates from college and the astrological sign of another 2. bizarre. and don't get me started on the fact that i can remember the most irrelevant detail of a movie but can't tell you a single author i referenced in my dissertation...
anyway - a few weeks ago (nov 11) i blogged that i was going to do 2 things. something about not regretting things in life, blah blah blah. anyway, i have NO idea what i was referencing. i haven't a clue what 2 things i committed, ever so strongly, to do.
i hope they weren't things i needed to do before heading to FL.
oops.


Did i leave the gas on?

operator error

why does your heart say one thing but your mind something completely different??

christmas shopping - all wrapped up

well i'm done christmas shopping.

don't hate the player. hate the season!

i actually went to the mall and walked out with a birthday card. i would have walked out with more - but a store was out of what i wanted to get a friend for christmas. she will instead get a photo. i'm actually going to do a few presents after the new year. so technically it isn't all wrapped up - but almost. closer than most.
SO THERE! :P

women from songs - that i want to be

from cake's "short skirt, long jacket"... that girl. she uses a machete to cut through red tape. and she just sounds kick-butt fabulous! and she wears a long jacket - a favorite accessory. i can do a short skirt if necessary as long as i have FABULOUS knee high leather boots.

brown eyed girl... i may have green eyes but the glories of modern contacts can change the appearance of that.

lady in red - by chris de burgh. yes lame, but i always wanted someone to play that - dedicate that for me. oh a sappy sap at heart i know.

at the moment i can't think of any others. i'm sure there are plenty. but the one that does come to mind that i don't want to be...

ROXANNE! you don't have to turn on that red light... ROXANNE!
love the song however!

LOVE IT!

freudian slip

when you say one thing and mean your mother.

friends

i love my friends. i've had some friends in my life for quite some time. others are more recent additions to the optimist girl universe. but either way, i am grateful for those who i can and do share my life with.
gee that was sappy.
and hopefully received for as heartfelt as it was intended.

sadness

i just got an email from my mom - the husband of a friend, died of a heartattack. i've known her since i was a kid. I was at their wedding. He's too young to have died from a heartattack.
i can't believe it. she lives in australia; her mom in virginia. she has a daughter 8 and a son 4.
i just can't believe that i'm old enough to have friends who have husbands who are old enough to die from heart attacks.

the miracle of the packing list

so i'm packing my suitcase for work and then for my trip to scotland and then back to work. tuesday morning i leave for LA for a day of work. i work wednesday morning and then pop back to the hotel - change (though stay the same) - and then pop down to LAX and i'm off on a jet plane! my return is similar. i leave scotland monday morning - then london - then the long haul to LA arriving monday night. tuesday morning back into the office. wednesday - the office and then a 6pm flight home. and tonight i'm staying with a friend in san francisco as my flight is at 9am tomorrow and i don't want to pay for 2 weeks of parking. she's going to keep my car safe and drop me off and pick me up! sweet! she's an uber-friend.
so anyway - the miracle packing list. i am using a suitcase i have been known to fill to 50 pounds. i am trying not to do that before i get there! so i've got a handful of shirts, etc. packed. just enough if i do laundry while i'm there. :)
i actually created a list of the things i would need - which reminds me, i need to pack my toilet bag. i have everything ready to go - i just need to put it in the suitcase.
fun.
i'm just so impressed - the suitcase is barely half-full! woot.
i guess all of the traveling over the last few weeks has helped me perfect my packing!
actually, i need to pack the cat up too. he's heading off to kitty camp while i'm gone. actually he'll be staying with my friend cat for a few days and then my friend maggie when she gets back.

off to pack the cat's stuff.

leaving on a jet plane

i'm leaving on a jet plane - don't know when i'll be back again.

i leave this week for LA and then off to Scotland. VERY excited.

if there is one thing that i've discovered over the last few weeks is that life is too short. i've heard too many stories and heard about too many bad things to not enjoy life.

i have 2 things in my life i really wish i did and i have every intention about doing something about them when i can.

watch out!

Evil characters..

Random: Someone likened me to an anti-christ yesterday and i've decided that if i'm going to be evil - like dick cheney - i want to be Darth Vader. Thoughts? Recommendations? other than the fact i'm not really evil. well, not truly evil anyway. i'm more annoying than evil.
though i do put garlic in my mac n'cheese. but is that evil or just that i like creating work?
topic: is optimist girl evil or just a misunderstood comedic genius??

discuss...

must control fist of death

ARGH!

the universe - gift giver

ok - so here are some personal basics about me. i believe in karma in a high level universal sort of way. i believe that what you 'put out' into the universe will come back to you. so for instance, if you are bad person, bad things happen to you. maybe not today - but eventually, yes, karma's day will come! if you have a positive outlook and are good to those around you - good stuff surrounds you. this is not to say that bad things happen to good people because they are really bad - this leads to what i also believe which is - things happen for some reason. oh there is randomness in the universe - but even most chaos is organized. my desk is a perfect example of this.
anyway - i've several friends in my life that have happened for a reason. they may come and go - but they impacted my life in ways they will never know.
so where this leads today's ramble (aka blog post) is that i put out into the universe what i was really thinking and feeling and darn it if the universe didn't answer in its high ironic way. darn you universe *shaking fist*.
but be it far from me to look a gift universe in the mouth!
thank you universe for once again reminding me that you need to be careful what you ask for - and as the holidays are around the corner - this is particularly true.

thank you universe!!!

Darth Vader: Ultimate Fashionista!

black. we know it is the new black. my wardrobe is full of black. black pants, tops, sweaters, jackets, sweater jackets - the list goes on. well one of my fav coats is a long black micro-fiber rain trench from nordie's. i love this coat. it is the reason i like rain. moderate, raincoat rain - let me be more specific. down pours i love but only when i'm inside and don't have to leave.
anyway, Darth Vader, fashionista...he has it going on with the all black leather outfit with matching hat and coat/cape. i would like to note the flowy clothes choice. i don't know if you wear black and flowy clothes you should. it is pretty amazing walking anywhere with a long black trench flowing out behind you like you are queen of the world.
now there are people who ruin this look for the rest of us - goths that wear the trench during inapproprate weather (yes that shorts with trench look = hot). bad guys in movies... although nick cage in the movie 'faceoff' = hot. he gets out of the car being the bad guy that he is and that wind happens at just the right moment! HOT!
so yes, i realized that as i was walking across the street with coat flowing and sweater below the coat - that Darth Vader is right - this is not just a great way to look great but feel great too.

the gym, drugs and the mall

ok... let me set some context for those of you who don't know me. i love shopping*. the reason for that asterisk is bc i love shopping for certain things. i love shopping for jewelry (ooo... shiny), shoes, handbags and general accessories. i hate shopping for clothes and i hate searching through racks of discount items that are not appropriately organized. these are things that drive me mad. and would consider the route the young gentleman had taken if i were so inclined to deal with a tough situation if the course were appropriate.
anyway - with the context set let me relay my story. my gym is located in the mall. yes, that's like putting a liquor store next to an AA mtg or a pastry shop next to weight watchers - so yes, i walk through the mall window shopping to get energized for the fabulously tiny clothes i will one day wear because i've been working out and losing weight (it's goofy logic, i know, work with me). so i parked my car and walked towards the mall entrance (i try to park far away from the door since i'm going to the gym to workout anyway)... and i see a cloud of smoke emanating from between 2 cars - i notice the smoke is some what herbal and i have the sudden urge for mac n' cheese and realize that this guy/kid is getting high before going into the mall with his girlfriend. now, i accept that not all people love to shop like i do - but getting high - is that really necessary? the dude was crouched down between the cars while the girlfriend was standing there in jeans, heals and a coach bag (i notice these things, i can't help it) and watching as he got high in the parking lot. she might have been disgusted but i couldn't really tell.
as i have admitted i don't love the super sales where all the clothes are mixed in and to be honest shopping for work clothes is a level of hell, i'm convinced - but getting high - would this help? i'm not for illegal drugs as a personal choice - but perhaps if i spoke to my doctor about painkillers trying on jeans might not suck as much. it's a thought.
i just couldn't believe that this young guy/kid was getting high before shopping with his girlfriend. what would possess someone to say - you know, i really don't enjoy shopping with you and i'd hate it less if i were high because i wouldn't care. i wonder if perhaps this is her genius idea... 'honey, can i have your credit card?' so that he doesn't realize how much she's spending. she might just be brilliant!!!
only time will tell.

Faux holidays ROCK!! yeah - Columbus!

i love 3-day weekends. i really love 3-day weekends when i don't have to use vacation time to have them. i particularly love 3-day weekends when everyone else has to work. now, i know that sounds totally awful - but when it is a 3-day weekend when everyone else works it makes me feel as if i'm playing hookie and i'm being naughty by not being at work. it's the little things. so far this morning (by 930am) i have listened to several podcasts, had yogurt for breakfast, perused a few interesting online shops, checked email, read the news, done a little bit of work and i've thought a lot about doing some laundry.
this is the most productive monday i've had in while. i've even been checking out a local yoga studio and i'm scheduling a few yoga classes on my calendar. i find that the only way i get the fun in is if i hold myself accountable by putting it on my calendar. lame i know, but i only do work meetings that are on my calendar why shouldn't fun be the same way?? this is actually one of the key routines i discuss in my dissertation wouldn't it be convenient if i actually followed the routines i recommend in my dissertation! duh!

cable rules

cable rules. i love tv. i love having 300 channels at my finger tips and nothing to watch.
there is nothing greater than the ultimate cosmic power of cable TV. or better yet - cable HDTV. i paricularly love watching movies i own on DVD - so there i sit on the sofa watching a movie on tv with commercials and in a box in my garage there is a copy of that movie - without commercials.
fabulous!

Optimist Girl's rules to driving - continued

you can pass trucks. these drivers are paid - trained professionals. You can pass them. they won't just randomly swerve into your lane and crush your car into little iddy pieces.

music and the soundtrack of life

the car radio. have you ever noticed how sometimes on the radio all of a sudden a song comes on that plays to the very moment. well today that happened once again. i was commuting to work - everyone was driving crazy and all of a sudden - "it's the end of the world as we know it - and i feel fine" came on the radio. leave it to REM to get it right, in the moment.
it reminded me of one of my college roommies - she said that whenever she was having a moment of indecision she would put on a tape fast forward and rewind it and whatever song was playing when she hit play was a sign. not sure if that's true... but it works for the moment.
hadn't thought of that in years. college was a long time ago.

Optimist Girl's rules to driving

1. if you are in front of me - you must be going faster than i - in case you are confused, the pedal on the right
2. there is no reason for bad manners or bad driving during bad traffic - use the courtesy wave
3. breaking. never break on the freeway - unless necessary. the freeway is about going fast not checking if your brakes are working. this is specifically true during the morning or evening commute.
4. during the evening commute - you are not the only person who has had a long and potentially busy/painful day - be polite - don't cut people off and pay attention to the idiots around you.
5. during the morning commute - you are not the only person who would rather still be in bed - pay attention to the idiots around you. let people in - it delays you getting to work. unless you are running late - which in that case: you should have woken up earlier.
6. smile. it doesn't cost anything and just think - you aren't walking!

memories...

in the corner of my.. uh.. something. so once again, i had several blog topics top of mind and once again - i forgot them. brilliant.

the death of the courtesy wave

Rest in peace courtesy wave. I loved you. But I was a user. I used you mercilessly. Perhaps too often. But I never abused you or forgot you. I miss you now that you are gone. Your many forms. Admittedly your cousin 1-finger salute is around more than ever - i see him or her every where i go... but courtesy wave - you are gone. i let people in - in front of me... no wave. others let drivers in - no wave. perhaps however the one finger salute.
Courtesy wave I will continue to salute you when I can... even if the others have forgotten you.

People and their love affairs with their cart

ok - i love target. i do. i must confess, i love target. well, i should add a caveat to that... i love it on sundays at 9am when no one is there. i love it best then. but today while i was shopping i saw something and realized that i would make a very bad parent. well, that's a huge jump i know from loving target to being a bad parent... well you see i am willing to leave my cart. i am willing to park my cart in a safe, close location so that i don't drag it through the clothing section - or down an aisle that is busy. let me offer some context. i was shopping for some workout clothing (different story) and didn't want to pull/push/fight my cart through the very tight section. so i 'parked' my cart next to the sports bras and went off in search of workout pants (another rant altogether). While looking at a variety of things, i noticed numerous women drag their practically empty carts through the smallest of spaces between racks... it was awful (yet terribly amuzing) to watch these women push their carts through the section and knock clothes down along the way. they left behind a wake of destruction only a tornado or hurricane can bring down upon local residents. These women couldn't bear to leave their carts behind. even at the fitting room area, women would drag their cart and leave it right at the door - of course it meant she got a room as the rest of us couldn't get near the area - but i'm sure that's merely a pleasant (for her) side effect.
it was when i pondered this a little longer (and saw it more and more frequently) that i realized i could be a bad parent. would i leave my child somewhere so that i wouldn't drag them down the tiny aisle?? would i be that parent who left their child in the car? i'm pretty sure i'd NEVER do that... but what did it say about my parenting style? or does it mean nothing at all and i am just ranting because people like to have the convenience of their cart at hand and it inconveniences the rest of us?
perhaps.
well, being the optimist girl i am - i'm going to assume that these lovely ladies had no idea of the destruction they brought to the rest of us - although is ignorance much better?
i still *heart* target - even if i don't *heart* people.

the times they are a changin'

i just have a moment to blog - i saw something that intices me to write... a teacher being fired for showing a segment of an r-rated movie to a class of 5th graders... the movie was 'Amistad' the clip was of a slave ship. in the 8th grade (maybe 9th - but i don't think so) my math teacher showed us 'Pretty Woman'. Now you may think to yourself - how does relate to math. It doesn't and she didn't try to make it. She wanted to show us the film and we obliged. We weren't to tell our parents and we enjoyed it.
Now, a teacher being fired for showing students a portion of an R-rated film for educational purposes... i can't begin to explain how this is wrong on so many levels. How many parents allow their children younger than 10 to see R-rated films? I recall buying tickets for something quite R-rated with parents and kids in tow behind me getting the same thing. It bothers me that this teacher used a resource and was fired. They didn't follow the 'chain of command' to show the clip - but in today's world teachers need to up their game to keep up with the shortening attention span of children. They are used to the constant bombardment of television, movies, music - i'm sure that most of these kids had been shown or allowed to see worse via their parents. again, i know, not the point - but it really irritates me that a teacher trying to teach was disciplined for it. should we no longer talk about death tolls in war? that's reality and we talk about it at a very young age.
well, it is only 7am and i'm already ranting...

it isn't as good when it's online

so yesterday was weird. today was just as weird. i seem to have hit the bermuda triangle of work. general funkiness is going down. yesterday i flew down to LA for work for the day. i left early and got home late. it was the equivalent of me driving to San Jose or something for the day. i guess the big difference was that if i ran into someone in the airport i wasn't going to be trading insurance info and i guess at the airport there's slightly more searching of my personal belongings... and bare feet.
anyway... i was in LA for the day. on the plane i sat next to (me at the window, her the aisle) a personal trainer who is looking to build her client list here (she moved here from LA). as she's local. we're going to connect next week. anyway... that was an odd random thing. i was in LA to do a quick presentation about managing your career. yeah. that went ok. it turned into a bit of complaining session... eh. i got a good lunch from it. yum. so that was weird. and then i get back to my computer, check my email - org change! more weird. we're in a team structure and i'm feeling very neutral about the whole thing. weird. i never feel neutral. i'm usually passionate one way or the other... alas neutral. weird. so to feel better i decided i'd look online to buy some shoes. i always feel better about life with new shoes. regardless of how much weight i gain or lose - shoes (& handbags) always fit! unfortunately the online shoe shopping wasn't as good as shopping at the mall. perhaps it was because i wasn't surrounded by lots of styles - but either way it isn't as good when it's online. fortunately i was able to fly home early. yeah.
today i was psyched about work. well, i was excited as much as i usually am. but when i got there - got on my first call of the day (7am) - it all went weird again. i won't get into it - but i have the urge to buy shoes again. i have to go to target tomorrow and i'm doing a girl shopping day with one of my good friends... perhaps that will help me feel less weird.
now, where's that glass of wine to get me out of my weird stage.

furniture, fire and the contemplation of one's existence

a lot there in that title, i know. so yesterday i went shopping for furniture. i love furniture in a 'i heart furniture' sort of way. IKEA used to be a second home. the entire IKEA catalog apartment was my first. yes my apartment was like edward norton's apartment in 'fight club'. i am in fact writing this from my angby chair. so yes, furniture shopping. so yesterday i saw enough ugly furniture to last me a lifetime! i know ugly is in the mind of the beholder - but really - ew! and not only was it ugly, but overpriced. on sale, my shoe! while driving on the way from shop #4 of the 9 visited... i saw the most horrific car accident of my life.
now admittedly, i've never seen many car accidents but this rivaled hollywood in its gruesomeness, it was far more real than the best michael bay movie effects. a white toyota in the fast lane suddenly drives up the 7' to 8' high embankment separating traffic and starts to flip back-end over front and lands upside down in, what is now, oncoming traffic. A blue ford hits it and i instantly see FIRE. the fire spreads, people stop, 911 is called and as i am on the wrong side of the freeway and don't want to play frogger in distracted traffic, have to continue on. the most horrifying thought - i didn't see anyone get out of the toyota or ford.
someone died. and it hits me that there was little that could have been done to help those people. the fire was instant and the ford had a huge gas tank. as we drive around for the rest of the day - i look at people in cars and think 'don't you realize what just happened?' there is nothing can could have prevented that accident.
yesterday we saw 2 potential accidents in addition to the 1 we did see that happened. the first was a car turning left across 2 lanes of traffic and apparently thinking he could turn before the opposite traffic, but he must have stalled the car because the oncoming VW almost took him out. i know it is a him as we passed the idiot later - definitely having shifting 'issues'. the 2nd accident we saw was a woman in a jag pulling out of the shopping center (also turning left) driving fast and almost taking out a mother and her young son. the driver promptly lights up a cig after that potential accident... yes, a cigarette in your hand is going to help you drive. right.
so yesterday just had me thinking about how life can change in a moment - will it have me change my not-so-wicked ways? probably not. but i need to make sure that my loved ones know that they fall into that category. also i realized that life is too short to spend my time looking at bad/ugly furniture...

My blog and it's birth

so - i try once again to write a blog. i've started blogs all over town, as it were. i've bought space, i've signed up with email accounts - i've tried them all. so here i am, again.
it's weird becuase there are days when i've thought i need to write a blog about an incident and then i get home - and nothing comes of it. mostly because i can't find my blogs.
so the other day - i ever so brilliantly emailed myself a blog topic while i was at work. i didn't want to blog at work so i figured i'd save that topic nugget for later. (see i don't waste time at work) *cough*
i randomly remembered i sent myself a topic while perusing my email. dork.
so the topic: being given something, and in turn asking for more... ok, i don't mean this in an oliver twist sort of way - or maybe i do. i have a challenge around pushing back or challenging the status quo. i don't want to be one of the sheep of the masses - but alas i am. *baa*
so the topic of this blog would have been how at work i was asked to go back to someone about getting one more spot. it doesn't matter what the spots are for but suffice it to say that someone said we should go back and ask for one more - even though we were told the number we had at the beginning...
ok - i know for a fact that until i can get myself to ask for more i will never be an executive. it holds me back. i know this. after someone says to me 'optimist girl' you have 5 X's (let's say for the sake of arguement, shoes) ... 'optimist girl' you have 5 shoes you can pick - i am not about to go back and ask... oh wait - i might. i love shoes. bad example. but you know where i'm going with this... but i realized this week - that until i can get over it - i'm not going to be a high earning executive with a corner office and fantastic paycheck - i will continue to be - merely a sheep.
*baa*